Gross nasty verbal vomit of doom.

You know what, sometimes we all are pessimistic. I can't be super optimistic all the time, so I'm just going to lay it out for you right here. The whole truth, complete honesty. 

This has been the worst week of my life. 

Why? Well, let me tell you. 

It's no secret to anyone that my living situation at school is straight from hell. That alone would make one crazy.
I've been working on a research paper, due this Monday, that I cannot pull together for the life of me.
I'm probably not going to get any of the classes I want next semester. 
Despite studying and feeling confident in the material, I'm making a solid D in my Religion class and I don't see any hope of pulling it up. I've never failed anything before in my life. 
I lost my keys. Yes, my keys. They are completely MIA and I have no idea where they are. I cannot get into my dorm, my room, and I lost my car key. If they don't show up by 10PM tonight, I have to pay $30 to have the lock on our door changed. Even though my friends all searched the whole campus for them and two of the guys on the second floor let me "beat them up" so I'd feel better, I still am incredibly upset about this. 
A girl in my ASL class thought it was nice to look me in the face when she heard I changed my major to English and say, "Ew! WHY?! English is like the opposite of ASL. That's really gay," and was not kidding. 
Some people really let me down. Not that I expected any better from them, but it was still really disappointing. 
My glass measuring cup to heat water in fell off of my microwave and shattered into a million pieces. 
Oh, and it has been humid, 70+ degrees, and raining all week. That just added so much to the mix. 

Logically, as soon as English ended today, I got the extra car key from my grandparents and bolted. I drove home blasting music and taking my frustration out by focusing on the road ahead of me. Now I'm locking myself away for the weekend to just recharge and refresh. I'm going to drink tea and cuddle with my kitties and read books and spend a lot of time reading my Bible and go to my own church on Sunday morning. I'm so tired of feeling defeated and broken, and I knew I had hit the ultimate low when I was sitting in my friends room wearing footie pajamas and crying my eyes out in front of everyone. It's time for a fresh start, because if we're being completely honest, this week just sucks. 

Code Red intake: 7

Days Until Thailand: 217

My holey nose.

I will have an actual post up soon, because my friend said something to me the other day that I wanted to write about, so be on the look out. But until then, enjoy another typical college story. 

I'm afraid of pain and needles. I've wanted my nose pierced for over a year. People have been saying for ages how cute it would be and how I have the perfect nose to pull it off, but I let my fear of needles rule my life. 

Today, that changed. I walked to the really awesome tattoo place near campus with three of my friends and bravely told the people at the front desk, "I want to get my nose pierced," 

So this afternoon while holding my friend Jessica's hand, I paid a nice man with tattoos and piercings to stick a piece of metal into my nose while listening to metal music. I'm really happy I did it. The guy who did my piercing was hilarious and incredibly nice, talking me through each step and keeping me relaxed. 

Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I give you. . . my nose stud. 

I'm really happy with it. 

And I promise you're getting a real post soon.

Code Red Intake: 6

Days Until Thailand: 223

Speak with BOLDNESS.

If I could learn to open my mouth without fear of what other people will think or how my words will be taken, I'd be a much happier person. For one, I'd have way less regrets about points I could have made and I would save myself a lot of trouble by not having to glare at the person who gives the answer I was about to give in class. . . if I had only worked up the courage to say it first.
Unfortunately, this crippling struggle to just speak up isn't a plague only in the academic aspect of my life. It's one in all other aspects, though it is one that is improving as of late. It's something I've always had to work at and probably always will, no matter how much it improves. Well, not surprisingly, when our leaders for Romania prayed over us all before the trip this summer, the word that all got for me was boldness. I took that as my first cue to step up and make a difference instead of waiting on boldness to smack me in the face one day and become something I'm super awesome at (like, say, the way I'm awesome at fort building and being ridiculously wordy when writing). 
This week I've really been starting the first preparations for Thailand. I wrote my support letter, got about 20 of them sent out, and starting coming up with fund raising ideas. I've also started praying over the trip, for the team, support, people we'll be working with, and the entire preparation process. Today, while I was praying in the coffee shop near campus, I started to read in Acts 4. 
You know those nifty little headers above parts of Scripture? They like to speak to me. At the end of Acts 4, I came across a section titled "The Believers Pray for Boldness". 

" 'And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to speak your word with BOLDNESS, while you stretch out your hand to heal and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your Holy servant Jesus,' " 
- Acts 4:29-30 (ESV) 

It doesn't get anymore blunt than that. 
"BOLDNESS" has been added to the Thailand wall on the wall above my bed, where I'm putting verses and words and such things related to the trip, because the thing that will be most required of me during the two months we are there is, in fact, BOLDNESS. BOLDNESS to step out and share, to show Christ's love unconditionally, and to even be going on this trip at all. BOLDNESS in speech, BOLDNESS in acts, and BOLDNESS in faith.
My entire life needs to become the embodiment of BOLDNESS in my actions and beliefs, no longer holding onto expectations or comforts, but walking out the example Christ laid for us all and proclaiming His love for the His children all over the world with BOLDNESS. 
The change begins now, starting with situations a lot closer to home than Thailand. 


Code Red Intake: 5 (I'm studying hardcore this week)
Days Until Thailand: 233

Kiki love.

Fall Break came and went, and now I'm sitting back in my dorm room unpacking all of my stuff and waiting to see what truckload of stuff my roommate comes back with this time (She always comes back with something big and a lot of little stuff. First it was lamp, then her own refrigerator). I have really learned to love college and the wonderful people that I've gotten involved with, but I miss home. I miss my family and the familiarity. 
But right now, I really miss my kitties. Yes, kitties. 

A few weeks ago my mom and little sisters visited an animal hospital with their Frontier Girls group and saw two kittens there. There were about 3 months old and needed a home. The girl kitten had been brought to the place by its owner right after the litter was born, and they asked them to put the kitten to sleep because she only had one eye. The people at the animal hospital refused to kill her over a harmless missing eye, so they kept her and decided to find a home for her. The boy kitten had been found in a box on the steps of the animal hospital around the same time, and they had no clue where he came from. The girl was black and white with fine, fluffy fur and a the white on her black face resembled a perfect mustache. The boy was a beautiful creamy Siamese with bright blue eyes and brown on his face, eyes, and paws. 
My sisters wanted them. My mom couldn't say no. So I went with them over break to pick the 3 and a half month old kittens up. We named them Naomi and Thomas O'Malley (like in The Aristocats) and I'm completely in love with them. If I could have, I would have brought them back to school with me and kept them forever. 

They are the cutest. Thomas O'Malley fell asleep on my shoulder for over an hour while I was laying on moms bed talking to her, and Naomi crawled up on me this morning while I was sitting in the floor. 

And apparently, Thomas is a big fan of my blog. My mom texted me this picture once I was back at school.

Days Until Thailand: 234

Code Red Intake: 4 

Important studies of a college student.

Since I am in college now,  I do a lot of smart, educated things. I'm taking classes that require me to think and analyze, write papers and appreciate other cultures. Sometimes I'm required to sit in front of a computer screen and repeat words like a monkey, but it's in the name of science and knowledge, so I do it for a good cause all before returning to my very important studies. 

An example of these very important studies I dedicate my nights to? 

Allowing Katie to do my hair partially with her feet and partially with her hands while watching Criminal Minds and E! Investigates specials on kids of serial killers while Bethany writes a paper and Jessica does a math quiz and I lay in the floor sharing stories of crazy classmates. 

Yeah, you know, important studies. . . except not at all. Just ask me about Aristotle's Six Elements of Drama or who Thespis was though, because I can tell you that from my important studying!

Eighteen and legal.

Exactly eighteen years ago, the world was introduced to the squirming, fuzzy headed being that was and and still is Sarah Arant. I was born with so much hair the nurses could literally tie a bow in it, and this lions mane would continually be the bane of my existence, from the time when I was a month old and mistaken for a monkey* until the time I would learn to tame it in high school. I'm still convinced that people should call it "Sarah Arant hair" not "Hermione Granger hair". Legit. It was huge. 

I'm eighteen. 18. I've been alive and breathing and living and experiencing and antagonizing the human race for eighteen years. I can vote. I can sign my own papers (or more accurately, sign up for Psychology experiments to complete the required credits). I can buy lottery tickets and cigarettes. I can join the army. 
I'm an adult, legally. 
But I don't really feel any older. I still feel like I am a little kid, but when I step back and look at my life right now, I realize I'm far from a kid. I'm an adult. 

The eighteen years I've had so far have been incredibly crazy. I thought about listing the 18 biggest things I've learned, or the 18 best things about the past year, or something else cutesy like that, but I already did my nausea inducing list of people I appreciate, so I decided against the cutesy birthday list. Instead, I'll tell you this: My life is just beginning, and I know I am in for an adventure. In the coming year, I have everything from finishing my first year of college to two months in Thailand to anything and everything else life can throw at me. And I'm ready. I'm ready to celebrate the eighteen wonderful, challenging years I've been given and prepare to embrace the coming years and all that God has in store for me, because He is just beginning to unfold the adventures before me. 

So basically, I'm eighteen and ready to (continue to) rock the world. 
Or, as my friend Charis just pointed out via text message, "YOU'LL BE 19 IN LESS THAN A YEAR!" 


Code Red Intake: 4
Days Until Thailand: 242  

*True story. When I was a month old, my mom took me in for a check up. I was wrapped up in my car seat, because it was November and I was the first child in my family, and a girl who was probably 4 ran up and screamed "LOOK MOM! IT'S A MONKEY!!!". This is still a story told around my house on a regular basis.