One more day.

I move into my dorm tomorrow.
I'm not ready.

Sure, I have a pile of stuff and textbooks and my semester tuition is paid. But mentally, I'm just not ready for it. I'm not ready to leave the town I've learned to call home and the group of people who have taken me in. I'm just not excited about it. I can handle it, sure. I'm more than capable of navigating a campus and handling classes and making my own decisions. But do I want too? No. I could move in tonight and be absolutely fine, the problem is I'm just not excited about it.
Everyone else is excited. Everyone else can't wait to have "freedom" and be on their own. The problem with me is that I know college isn't my home and isn't where I belong. College for me is a necessary evil before I can be where I belong, and I just have to make the most of it while I can. The next four years of my life are going to be spent on a college campus where I'll be gaining life skills for the mission field and a degree in sign language, all while trying to be an encouragement to those around me. It's an adventure I'm not excited about, but I know I have to just accept that and move on. We can't always be called to things that are flat out exciting, can we? That would be too easy.

And hey, if all else fails, I was expressing this anti-college rant to a friend last night and if I end up hating it too much he's going to kidnap me and we're going to eat snails in Paris instead. So at least I have options.

Days until college: 1.
(I still need a countdown. . . let's all get brainstorming.)