The most destructive disease.

[With the semester wrapping up and my freshman year coming to a close (AH. WHAT?), blogging has not been a real possibility in my world. I'll be home on May 4th and back in action though, and I have a few things I've written down that I've felt compelled to write about once I have a free second that isn't taken up by exams and papers and endless math formulas. That being said, I just wanted to share this brief but very serious point.]

I'm currently in the middle of Panarctica (The Panera close to my house which is always freezing) working on my American Lit final essay. For my topic, I've chosen to compare the point of view in John Woolman's "Some Considerations on the Keeping of Negroes" and comparing it with the issue of modern day slavery. Human Trafficking is not an issue I take lightly, so you can take it without any surprise that I am currently looking like a fuming hot mess in the frozen corner booth, slurping down unending amounts of Dr. Pepper and lemon while furiously highlighting away articles upon articles with statistics on human trafficking in the United Stated.
The United States. America. Ah-mur-i-CAH. The country known for freedom and prosperity and greasy McDonalds sold in elephant sized portions; not exactly the place that comes to mind when one hears the term "human trafficking". But it should.  See, the seedy back alleys and red light districts of Asia and Europe are not the only places that women and children are used and exploited for sex.
Want to know some scary facts about human trafficking in America?* 

- 75%-80% of human trafficking is for sex, and 50% of all people trafficked are children.
- There are currently more people enslaved than there ever have been in history, and the cost of a slave is lower than it ever has been.
- The United States is listed among the top destinations for clients of human trafficking, with the most popular locations being California, New York, and Florida.
- Human trafficking has been reported in all 50 states and Washington D.C. 

- There is a large number of children and teenagers being trafficked in America between the ages of 9-19, with the average being 11 years old.
and the one I personally found the most disturbing:
- There are currently an estimated 13 million children enslaved around the world.

Take a second and let that sink in. Until I began to research this topic not only for my paper but for my trip this summer, the numbers didn't seem real. It's easy to look at "13 million" and think "Oh, that's a big number," and move on with your life without letting the reality of how completely huge it is set in. 13 million children is a freaking ton of them. 13 million is larger than the population of many countries in Europe, and not just the tiny ones only nerdy little home schoolers like myself know about and memorized the capitals of in middle school.

The population of Finland is 5,357,537. The number of children currently enslaved is 13,000,000.

The population of Austria is 8,470,929. The number of children currently enslaved is 13,000,000.

Iceland has a population of 304,261 . There number of children currently enslaved is roughly 43 times larger than that number. 

Wrap your mind around how huge that number is. If that doesn’t deeply disturb us, we have a problem. 

Children are supposed to be innocent and carefree and obnoxious and snot nosed, playing with unrealistically proportioned dolls and racing bikes around a neighborhood street, not being forced into having sex with men old enough to be their fathers countless times a day.
This is a serious issue. It’s a disease plaguing the entire world, not just America. It’s disgusting. It’s destructive. It’s just flat out evil. 

These are the things my team and I will be facing and fighting in Thailand this summer. This is the evil we are up against. It’s real and spreading and constantly growing, and it will not be an easy force to contend with. We have to arm ourselves with prayer and incredible spiritual strength, trusting entirely in the strength and power of Christ to get us through it, with Him fighting along side us. 
Keep my team in prayer as we prepare for this journey, for strength (not only spiritually, but mentally and physically as well), for unity and love among us and pouring from us, and for all of us to be used as we are needed during our two months in Thailand. 

[As the trip gets closer and closer, I’m slowly put surely reaching the fully funded point. I’m currently at 75% exactly and still need $1250 before my deadline next month. Praise God for the money that has come in so far and thank you all for the support, both financially and prayerfully, that you have given me so far!]

* information from http://facts.randomhistory.com/human-trafficking-facts.html 

Thailand, an update.

It’s update time. I’ve spent the evening trying to figure out what to blog about, when the obvious smacked me in the face: Thailand. I realized I never actually put into detail what I’m going to be doing or how support raising is going or even told anyone that I’ve been assigned an actual team. So here we go.

On June 3rd, I’ll be leaving the comfortable idea of my home, my kittens, and my freedom of spend the summer drinking the entire world’s supply of tea and read every book ever written and instead I’ll be spending two months in Thailand through Adventures In Missions. There I’ll join a team of (currently) seven other girls and after training camp, we’ll be headed overseas for two months to begin our ministry. We’ll specifically be working with past and present victims of sex trafficking, showing these women and girls that there is a God who loves them and that they are beautiful. Night after night these beautiful girls work the bars and are objectified by men who are just as lost as they are. My heart breaks for the girls trapped in this cycle of survival and lost hope.
Our trip is actually called “Human Trafficking: Thailand”. I don’t know that any of us on my team are ready to face what we’re about to walk into, but God has called each of us for a reason, and He’ll see us through it all.
A few facts about this trip taken straight from the trip information:

- Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world.
The UN estimates that around 4 million people a year are now traded against their will to work in some form of slavery.
- As of 1993, there was an estimated 2 million prostitutes in Thailand. Prostitution is the largest commodity for the 450,000 Thai men who purchase prostitutes daily as well as for a large percentage of the 5.4 million tourists a year who arrive in Thailand for sex tours per year.
And those facts are 17 years old. So it can only have gotten worse.
 

For the trip I have to raise a total of $4,900. So far I have raised $1,390 and I’m so thankful to everyone who has given so this can happen. You guys are awesome, and I’m so sorry I haven’t had a chance to thank you personally yet, I’ve been super busy with exams and classes and basically just being a college student, but it is coming. 
Next month we’ll be having a fundraiser to help with the funds for the trip. We’re selling Brunswick Stew like we did for Romania ($7 a quart, so if you’re interested just let me know) and we’re talking about having a yard sale sometime after. 
You don’t have to buy stew or a secondhand sweater if you want to help out and donate though. You can donate (anonymously or not) through the website or by sending a check. http://adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=partFund 
 

I’m going to be updating more often to keep everyone up to date on how the support is going and with new information as I receive it. We won’t know a lot about the details of our ministry until we are in country, but I will let you know what I know.
Thank you so much for all your support, both in prayer and financially. Please keep my team in your prayers as we all work to get our support raised and prepare mentally and spiritually for the trip. Pray for the people we’ll be ministering to and working with and for unity among our team as we come to know each other.
103 days until the adventure begins!

Because eventually we all have to come out of hiding. . .

It's funny how our first instinct when we mess up or do something wrong is to hide (or maybe it's only me. . .).  Secrets have a funny way of revealing themselves, so I don't know what makes us think there is a sane answer in hiding with our shame. We can't just stay hidden forever, burrowing in a dark corner and hoping that no one ever figures out how we messed it all up.
Basically, I screwed up. And I'm ready to come out of my dark little corner of hiding and admit that. 

I'm kind of human. Okay, maybe more than kind of. . . I'm INCREDIBLY human. Preparing yourself for a situation and actually being in a situation are two totally different things, and I sadly wasn't as prepared as I thought I was to handle temptation when it looked me in the face. Being at school and handling my work load and making new friends and experiencing new adventures all made church and God and everything I value seem so unimportant. They slowly but surely began to fall down on my priority list, and of course other things all only seem so much more appealing when the prospects of reputation and relations get thrown in. 
Don't get me wrong, I haven't done anything ridiculously wrong. I haven't compromised my morals or fried my brain out on drugs or dropped out of school to answer a call to the pole. I'm not going to lie to you though, I've been living very apathetically in my spiritual life and very much in the moment, going on what feels good instead of what I know I should be doing. Keeping with this honesty, it felt good for awhile. Actually, it was awesome. I was starting to see how I could be happy being like that forever. But every high has to end, and it comes in a crash, and that was when I realized how very much I lacked peace. 
By the time I realized this though, I was out a friendship, recovering from a two hour accountability talk with one of my dearest friends, and trying to hold together the remains of friendships damaged during my little escapade. I felt unworthy and disgusting, and I was this close to dropping out of the Thailand trip because of it. I thought that I had definitely and completely screwed up, and everything I had worked so hard for was gone. But that is the beauty of redemption. As my friend recommended (or more like strongly demanded) during our accountability talk, I sat down with my iPod and Bible and for the first time in awhile I had a serious, intimate moment with Jesus. As I sat down and prepared to be completely destroyed (in the most loving way possible, because He is pretty good at doing that), these words played on through my headphones,

My God is making new the wreckage of my heart

Your hand is reaching down to pull me from the dark

Your mercy reigns 

Your mercy covers me

Your grace sustains

Your grace is all I need. . .

I am worthy. I am loved. I am redeemed. I am washed in his blood and made new. 
I'm going to wrap this up by sharing with you something that my Romania teammate said the other day as we were talking about how we've both been struggling. I don't think I could have worded it better than he did. . 

"To think of all the times I've been ensnared and trapped by just crap in my life, but yet he doesn't lash out in anger or condemnation like I deserve. He washed me in His blood and welcomes me back like a prodigal son who just lost his way. Man, I'll never understand that kind of crazy, unmerited love," 

Me either, friend. Me either. But thank God we have it, regardless of our understanding.

Wrapping up the break.

I'm currently sitting in my bedroom floor, surrounded by boxes, piles of sheets, and sleeping kittens. Tomorrow my 3 and a half week winter break is over and I'm headed back to Greensboro to start my second semester of college. I'm a lot more optimistic about this coming semester, and I'm excited to get back to schedules and projects. I'm also incredibly excited to be back with my friends and into the usual shenanigans of laundry parties, onesie adventures, and Teen Mom nights.  

Until I have time to write an actual blog though, which is coming soon with a big update on my support raising for Thailand, I leave you with some pictures from break. 

 (^ Baby brother. We've spent the majority of break playing a lot of Xbox (I'm getting alright at FIFA and Halo 3.) and watching Lost and Arrested Development. I miss him when I'm not here.)

 (^ Good influence. I went as Ke$Ha to the youth group Christmas party [We were supposed to dress as celebrities or fictional characters])

(^ Oovoo party with Jenelle and Jess.)

One down, seven to go.

Last Tuesday, I took my last final and finished my first semester of college. Once there was a time when I hated college with all of my being. I swore I was in the wrong place and had to get through school to get started with the rest of my life. 
Things have changed. Quite a lot actually. 

In the past 4 months, I've learned a lot and really stretched myself out of my comfort zone. I've met some amazing people, cried under a tree and never lived it down, lead a project group, become known by all as the girl in the onesie, consumed a lot of caf pizza and waffles, survived living with a diva, found out what I really want to do with my life, got my nose pierced, rode in a taxi for the first time, have been around more needles and ink than ever before in my life, and become all around more confident. It's hard to remember what I did before I met my friends, and the idea of eating and studying alone or even being alone ever is a really foreign concept anymore. Basically, I went from being the girl that no one knew with the horrible roommate and lack of ambition to being the girl who runs around in a glow in the dark onesie and basically lives in the laundry room. 
I'm actually excited about next semester. After a long process of hitting brick walls, I finally got my room swapped and will be moving to the second floor of my building when I go back in January. I got reassigned to a room that is across the hall from one of my friends and I have heard fabulous things about my new roommate. My classes are going to be really interesting and I have a friend in one of them with me, so that is going to be an adventure. I changed my major from Interpreting to English, and I'm really excited about the things ahead of me now that I'm in a major I'm actually passionate about. I've gotten to a point where I really love school in all aspects, even when the work seems overwhelming. Outside of school, Thailand is getting closer and closer, and I really think it finally hit me how real this trip is. In just a few weeks I should be getting assigned to a blog for my team and getting my first glance at who my teammates are, and it's time to really pick it up with fund raising. I'm so excited to see what happens on this trip and see God work through my team as we minister to the people of Thailand and also to each other. 

One semester is down and there are seven more to go.
Let the adventure begin!

The Civil Wars.

If I could sing half as well as Joy Willams, I'd be a very happy camper.

Happy happy happy.

Things that make me happy:

a. Getting all the classes I wanted for spring 2011. I mean, I don't WANT to take math at 8am, but it works well in my schedule and could be much worse. 

b. http://www.uncgspartans.com/sports/msoc/2010-11/releases/2010111461oegj 

c. Blowing bubbles in chocolate milk.

d. Writing my first draft at 2am, believing it is the worst thing I've ever written, and then in peer review being told that it's really good. 

e. "I played disc golf this weekend. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically like walking through the park with purpose," 

f. Paper writing/laundry/registration parties (even if they involve stress over classes, making a schedule for the guy who didn't make it already, having my pixie sized feet mocked, and all that jazz). 

g. Having 200 days until Thailand. Ah!